11/29/11

It's almost December and I almost have my car back.
But I'm not really that excited. I went almost 3 months without possessing a car and I don't really mind. Yeah it sucks not being able to drive myself places. But what sucks more, is not having any places to go. I know what you're thinking, and you think that this is going to spiral off into some pitty party blog post but I'm going to stop you right there, because you're wrong.
I deserve everything I got. It was my fault, and now I have to suffer the consequences. I'm actually happy about one thing though, I'm happy that I figured out what kind of friends I have, that I can't trust them, because when I can't go anywhere, off campus or anything, they go anyway, because they have cars. Oh well. Bitches be bitches right?
well That's all the time I have for November. See you next month.

There ain't no rest for the wicked

Oh to be young and carefree careful. As of right now my internal frustration is at an overload with the amount of parasitic negativity coursing through my veins. More now than even before I feel the forbidden nature of how much I want you. And how much i want you is a lot. But is it too much to ask that I could finally have someone that treats me right? I mean isn't age really just a number?

 Even with my impending doom and torture with car related injuries to my pride and wallet, all I can think about is you, and how to get you, and that you want me too, because I can feel it, and I want it too.

A familiar call. That is all I needed.

So I've been having a rough week so far, needless to say, and last night I found out something that I never was supposed to know. It was about my family's dire circumstances and whether we were going to be okay. I have never felt so guilty in my entire life about having a wreck and what it could do to my family.
But then I called the only person who I trust with anything and everything, Kristy. . I feel like I am more comfortable now talking with her about everything than I was when she lived 15 minutes away. It may be because I haven't realized how much I depend on the people that mean the most to me. I would never intentionally hurt anyone, especially the people I care about, but it just turns out that these are the people who get hurt the most.
Long story short, I would be no where without my family and friends. No where without Kristy Lynn .
Katie

Slavery. Justified or Not?

[ This is a blog post that I had to do for my American History Class, and are my true feelings about this subject]

  The definition of slave is rendered servant. That is, that was the definition by the biblical meaning of the word. The Bible speaks louder than words, and oftentimes people take what the Bible says as truth whether it is literal, archaic, or not. It is impossible to explain why people believed slavery was a good idea, for the sole reason that it is both a vague and broad question. In ancient history Slavery was justified because people believed skin color was a indication of superiority, or lack thereof. They believed or followed the idea that any other race was incapable of doing anything complex.
This illogical belief was rationalized by a newfound boost in the economy with rendered servants to cultivate the land, which duty was previously the Patriarch's duty. Servitude, or to cut the euphemism, Enslavement was viewed as a necessity and was proclaimed as cheerfully submitted to. So whether Slavery was supported a social or economic or even a biblical argument slavery was thought to be a genuinely smart idea because of believed inferiority, it was right by God's word, and benefited on the whole. The truth is slavery should have been abolished before it even began. To enslave people because their culture is so different than yours, is ignorance, and should be exterminated. People as a whole are capable of everything that any other people are capable of, and believing in slavery is sheer laziness and setting your own personal bar lower than your capabilities.

Before, and aft.

Recently my life has become quite precious to me. I am finally happy with the way things are going. Or at least I thought I was. Everything at work is going well. Produce Boy even gave me a genuine hug and I felt something that I haven't felt in a really long time, I had everything I needed. Why did i have to go and let my pride screw it up?

After, I don't have a car, and I don't have my own means of transportation, but most of all, I don't have my parents trust. I got my car on Tuesday August  9th 2011. I hadn't even had it a month before I wrecked my car, and shattered my dreams of becoming independent. And for what? To satisfy my selfish needs of having friends? even if they are the kind that pressure you into doing what you shouldn't?
But honestly the blame lies with me. The 1000 dollar deductible for my car lies with me. The 8 points on my driver's record lies with me. The responsibility is mine. This is one lesson, that is never easy to learn, and always necessary to learn.

Always, always, always wanting more.

When it comes to matters of the heart; the heart wants what the heart wants right? Well my heart wants a soon- to-be 20 year old fireman in training. The only problem is, the subject, is in college. Who's to say he would even look twice at a 16 year old in high school. No matter how much she wants to be somewhere else.
There's a certain level of maturity that becomes typical if not expected among high school students, and lately I feel as if I don't belong here at all. It might just be my hormonal teenage desires for something I've never tasted before, but my internal feelings are getting weirder by the minute.
I can't help but keep asking myself this will I ever be satisfied living my life with what I already have? Or will I forevermore be wanting what is so unreachable?